With the Intent To Give: 7 Dispositions for the Christian Spouse

Barely had the sun risen when a young couple found themselves sitting at their favorite café. Just a year into their marriage, they frequently revisited this cherished spot where their love story began. On this particular morning, they weren't there just for coffee but to reconnect with the foundation of their union. With challenges mounting, they were searching for ways to fortify their bond.

In the gentle hum of the early hours, the husband leaned in, his eyes mirroring the love and concern he felt. “I want us to remember why we chose each other and what we committed to,” he said softly. His wife nodded, her fingers entwined with his. They had recently learned about 7 crucial dispositions for a Christian spouse and were eager to explore them together, hoping to strengthen their relationship further.

7 Dispositions of the Christian Spouse

1. Selflessness: Putting Your Partner First

In a Christ-centred marriage, selflessness means prioritising your spouse's needs above your own. This mirrors the love Christ showed us by sacrificing His own life. Philippians 2:3-4 encourages us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

2. Patience: Enduring Together

Patience is vital in marriage, particularly during trying times. It is the ability to remain calm and supportive, even when faced with challenges. Ephesians 4:2 advises, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” This patience fosters a peaceful environment where both partners can grow together.

3. Kindness: Small Acts of Love

Kindness involves the little gestures that show your spouse they are valued and loved. It’s about being tender-hearted and considerate. Proverbs 31:26 describes the virtuous spouse: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” These small acts of kindness accumulate, strengthening the marital bond.

4. Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges

No marriage is free from mistakes. Forgiveness allows spouses to move past hurt and resentment, building a stronger foundation. Colossians 3:13 instructs, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” This disposition helps in healing and growing together. It is also the key to healing and moving forward, reflecting God’s endless mercy towards us.

5. Encouragement: Building Each Other Up

Encouragement involves uplifting your spouse, helping them to achieve their potential and feel valued. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 states, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Positive reinforcement and support can significantly enhance the emotional intimacy in a marriage.

6. Humility: Admitting When You’re Wrong

Humility in marriage means acknowledging your mistakes and striving to improve. It involves putting aside pride for the greater good of the relationship. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Humility fosters respect and openness between spouses.

7. Commitment: Staying Dedicated Through All Seasons

Commitment is the steadfast dedication to your marriage and your spouse, regardless of circumstances. This mirrors God’s unwavering commitment to us. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, “Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” This unwavering dedication provides a secure foundation for a lasting relationship.

By adopting these 7 dispositions, Christian spouses can cultivate a marriage that not only survives but thrives. In a world that often prioritises individualism, the intentional act of giving within a marriage becomes a powerful testament to God's love and design for us.

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